There are numerous high-profile examples of couples with a large age gap between spouses. Examples of so-called “May-December” marriages include Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, 25 years apart, and George and Amal Clooney, 17 years apart. And then there’s that famous old Hollywood duo, Bogey and Bacall: Humphrey Bogart was 45 and Lauren Bacall 20 when they wed in 1945. They remained together until his death, with her outliving him by over half a century.
Of course, plenty of spouses who are not “high profile” also have a big age gap. The age difference may be of little importance when a couple is, say, 30 and 50. But as the years tick by and spouses reach 60 and 80 and beyond, health, finances and family dynamics can start presenting challenges. The older partner may develop health problems, making paying for medical care of great concern. The younger spouse may be called upon for caregiving. Children from prior marriages may weigh in, out of concern for their parent and perhaps with an eye on their potential inheritance, too.
Here are isses that a married couple with a significant age difference should discuss with their estate planning attorney:
Future Long-Term Care Expenses
If one partner is significantly older, he/she may develop a chronic health problem that will require long-term care. The problem could be physical or cognitive, or both. If that happens and the younger spouse is still working, will he/she have to retire to care for the older partner? How will this affect finances? Will the younger spouse have sufficient funds to live on? What about nursing home costs? Medicare does not pay for long-term care. Couples with a large age gap should look into purchasing long-term care insurance and possibly even do advance Medicaid planning.
Children From Prior Marriages
Partners in large age gap marriages often have their own children from prior marriages. How will each partner’s assets pass upon death? Usually, each partner wants to provide for their own children. The couple may also have children together, adding another layer of complexity to the family situation. It is crucial for couples to discuss all this in advance and set up a suitable estate plan with strategies that meet both spouses’ goals.
Another scenario to consider: The older spouse generally wants to leave everything to the younger spouse, and then, to his/her children from a prior marriage. But if the children and younger spouse are close in age and the spouse outlives the children, the children will never receive their inheritance. There are several solutions to this conundrum, one of which is purchasing life insurance on the older spouse’s life and naming his/her children as beneficiaries of the policy.
Social Security Benefits and Retirement Plans
Carefully review how you will manage taking Social Security benefits. Also review how your retirement plans are structured and who the beneficiaries are. All these plans should be examined with the goal of protecting the younger spouse as the years go by. Note that the Internal Revenue Service has special rules for taking required minimum distributions from a qualified plan when the spouse is ten or more years younger. All of these issues should be discussed with your financial professional.
The Home
Couples should be aware that under Florida law, the surviving spouse is entitled to the use of the marital home for his/her lifetime. Alternatively, the surviving spouse can require and force the sale of the marital home upon the death of the decedent, and is entitled to fifty percent of the decedent’s equity. The only way this requirement can be waived is if there is a valid pre- or post-nuptial agreement waiving that right.
Choosing Decision Makers for Health and Financial Matters
Each spouse should think carefully about whom they want to name as health care surrogate, and whom they want to handle their financial affairs under a durable power of attorney. If you are the older spouse and have adult children from a prior marriage, do you want your decision-makers to be your adult children, or your spouse? If you are the younger spouse and have named your spouse for these positions, the time may come when your spouse can no longer handle those tasks, requiring you to modify your documents accordingly.
Estate and financial planning is vital for every couple, but take on more urgency and complexity when the spouses have a large age gap between them. If you are in such a marriage or considering entering into one, you should have a candid discussion with your partner. Then, each spouse or spouse-to-be should seek guidance from their his/her own family law attorney in order to create a valid pre- or post-nuptial agreement. Also consult an experienced estate planning attorney and financial professional. Handling all the “what-ifs” of a large age gap marriage well in advance will add up to more peace of mind… and likely, a happier marriage, too.
